The Dog Dictionary
Bath:
This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
Deafness:
This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
Dog Bed:
Any soft, dense surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
Lean:
Every good dog’s response to the command “sit!”, especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.
Leash:
A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
Sniff:
A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog’s rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.
Sofas:
Are to dog like napkins are to people. After eating, it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.
Thunder:
This is a signal that the world is coming to an end.
Wastebasket:
This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home.
Found on i-pets.com
FUN DOG JOKES
“Outside a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend; inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
–Comedian, Groucho Marx
“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, your would stay out and your dog would go in.”
–Writer, Mark Twain
“[A]nimals make me supremely happy in a way that nothing else does.”
–Comedian, Carol Leifer
“Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!”
–Entrepreneur, Anne Tyler
“I have found that when your are deeply troubled there are things you get from the silent devoted companionship of a dog that you can get from no other source.”
–Actor, Doris Day
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.”
— Writer, Phil Pastoret
“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”
–Philosopher/Spiritual Leader, Gandhi
More dog riddles, jokes & More!
http://www.doggiesparadise.com/dog-jokes.shtml
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/jokes.htm
the LITTLE DOG RETREAT TM
